Torah Lesson at the Fourth Anniversary of my Mother's Passing - Educating Our Children

Dedication of the altar as an allegory for educating our children (the Hebrew word for education and dedication have the same root).

"Make me an earthen altar,” (Exodus 20:20), With the help of heaven, it seems to me that this means that the altar must be attached to the ground (as the commentator Rashi brings) . When we talk about educating our children, we shouldn't think that this means any education is appropriate, we aren't talking about teaching the concept of teaching them intellectual subjects, but habituating and training our children in the serving HaShem (building their character). The Torah doesn't engage in theoretical subjects or high minded concepts. Before one even begins to get to such area, one must insure that the children are grounded and that they have a foundation of proper behavior and characteristics that will accompany them throughout their entire life. Then, with the help of heaven, their lives will be “a place which reflects G-d's Name,” and their lives will be “filled with blessing.” (both phrases are a continuation of the same verse).

The best way to insure this is when the parents woek together and build the “altar” together. This is hinted at in the next verse (20:21) where it states, “ If you make me an altar of stone,” The first word, “if” can be read as the word for mother, while the word for stones can be read as a conjunction of the two Hebrew words: father and children. Thus, parents and children are all found around the same altar, focused on the same goals. The verse continues, “Do not build it of hewn stones,” but rather, the stones should be whole and uncut. That the education should not be piecemeal, a little from here, and little from there, but should be of whole cloth, without discrepancy and dispute so that the child should not come to, G-d Forbid, “desecrate it.”.

It also seems to me, with the help of Heaven, that we must be careful to raise are children up slowly, a level at a time and “not 'ramp it up'” (a play on the next verse, 20:22), for to give a child undertakings that they are not yet ready for could expose him, G-d Forbid, “in an inappropriate manner” (the continuation of the verse in Hebrew literally means “expose his nakedness.”). May we merit to 'build' our children as an earthen altar with whole stones so that all of the endeavors will be a sanctification of Gd's Name, and bring them and those around them a life full of blessing. May it be His Will.